Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Poking my head out

Just testing the waters, here. Nothing catastrophic has happened in the last 48 hrs, but I'm not sure the bad-karma stuff is over yet. There have still been minor set-backs, but they've been followed by solutions (at least I hope they're solutions) and we've even had a little good luck for a change. Kidlet got a pretty good payout on a lottery scratcher - now if we could just hit "the big one!" LOL
STILL finishing sis's sock - I want to knit this so badly I can hardly wait, but I need to finish this stupid sock and the baby blanket (although I might hedge on that, since it won't really be needed for another couple of months). And, at some point, I need to start Christmas presents - yeah, right, Christmas!
Yarn Harlot is coming!!!! She'll be here next week, "if the good Lord's willin' and the creeks don't rise" (as my gramma used to say). She's been "upgraded" to the Jewish Community Center for her talk, and that'll be fun!
OK, I should go get some "real" work done!

Poking my head out

Just testing the waters, here. Nothing catastrophic has happened in the last 48 hrs, but I'm not sure the bad-karma stuff is over yet. There have still been minor set-backs, but they've been followed by solutions (at least I hope they're solutions) and we've even had a little good luck for a change. Kidlet got a pretty good payout on a lottery scratcher - now if we could just hit "the big one!" LOL
STILL finishing sis's sock - I want to knit this so badly I can hardly wait, but I need to finish this stupid sock and the baby blanket (although I might hedge on that, since it won't really be needed for another couple of months). And, at some point, I need to start Christmas presents - yeah, right, Christmas!
Yarn Harlot is coming!!!! She'll be here next week, "if the good Lord's willin' and the creeks don't rise" (as my gramma used to say). She's been "upgraded" to the Jewish Community Center for her talk, and that'll be fun!
OK, I should go get some "real" work done!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Suckage continues

So, just to re-cap. Last Weds night someone decided that I needed one less window in my van, and used their BB gun to convince me of the same.
Last Sat, one of my daughter's friends decided that he needed to bail out of a moving vehicle, hitting his head on the pavement *hard*, and today she attended his funeral.
Last Sunday, one of the tires on my van decided that it needed a rest, and sprung a leak. Daughter was at a friend's house, and her dad graciously changed the tire for us. Thanks, Dad!!
Today, on my way to work (at 6:30 in the *Freaking* morning!) the other tire decided that it would give up the ghost, too. So, instead of coming to work at 7:30, like I normally do, I called a tow truck, and had to replace BOTH tires! Made it to work by 10, so I only have to work until 7:30 PM to make sure I get my 9 hrs in, and so I can flex out tomorrow.

ENOUGH!!!!!!
Whoever is in charge of the karma carnage that is going on, I'VE HAD IT!!!!!! I'm not ready to declare war yet, but I'm damn sick and tired of all the bullshit!!!!!!!
STOP! CEASE AND DESIST!!!! UNCLE! I GIVE UP!!! YOU WIN!!!!! WHATEVER I DID, I'M HEARTILY SORRY, AND I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!
That is all.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I like crazy!!!

I got an email this morning that had a long list of "Whys", but the end was my favorite - it said: 1 in 4 has a "mental problem" think of your 3 best friends, if they're ok, then you're it! I HAD to laugh, cause I already knew I was it! Ever since high school (or college, it's hard to remember back that far) I've done almost daily sanity checks. I discovered that I don't always see the world (or react to it, for that matter) as others do, and sometimes I've been considered downright odd. Eccentric. Weird. And it's totally ok. I've also known for quite some time that even though "they" (the great, mighty, all-powerful "they") make the rules, I don't necessarily have to live by all of them. Yes, I do obey traffic signs (or at least try to), and yes, I do get that one about not killing other people, animals, etc. But the really important ones, like we all must eat low-carb, or high-carb, or only veggies, or only meat or that we have to wear certain colors because "black is so slimming" or we have to have the latest celebrity hair cut, or whatever just don't cut no slack with me.
When my daughter was diagnosed with ADD several years ago, the nice mental health people gave me a book. No, I don't remember the name, but it was about ADD. It had a long list of "symptoms" and as I read them, they started to sound more and more familiar (Nancy, you should pay attention here). ADD does not only mean a complete lack of focus, but it can also mean hyper-focus. You know, when you're watching TV, or reading a book, and someone walks up to you and scares the living CRAP out of you 'cause you didn't see them??? There are other things, too - but the longer I read, the more I realized that I, too, was ADD. Had ADD. Whatever.
Anyway - life became so much easier - and I was now equipped to help my daughter without the benefit of Ritalin. See, I was ADD before there ever was such a thing - as were a BUNCH of kids in my class. We made it through, and most of us without the benefit of medication (I'm not talking about the self-medicated ones, we'll discuss them later). Anyway, I decided, or sort of fell into, "owning" my mental health.
I embrace ADD - love it, live with it, I say. And, I'm convinced that all my mental problems stem from knitting. (You didn't think I'd get to the knitting today, did you???)
Here's what I've formulated so far:
ADD: Multiple projects. I couldn't tell you how many projects I have going right now - a minimum of 5. I get bored, I do something else for a change. On the other hand, I started and completed my neph's hat in one evening. Easy Peasy.
OCD: I count. All the time. I don't count when I type, because I have to focus on where the fingers are and how to spell words (which could also be an OCD-thing, I'm not sure). But I count. Stairs. Steps. How many up-and-down trips on the cheese grater it takes to get enough cheese to make tacos (21 to 36, depending). Stitches.
I was watching Monk the other night, and they were in a room with other crazies, and his assistant leaned over and said "You're not the craziest one in the room anymore." I DIED laughing. How totally cool!!!!! To absolutely KNOW that you are not the craziest one in the room!! There are days when I'm pretty certain that I'm not the craziest one, but there are days when I KNOW I am. It's ok, they say that those who don't think they're crazy are the ones who need the most help. As long as I'm certain that I'm not sane, I think I'll be fine - oh, and the happy pills hold out.

OOPS! I forgot - I started Halfdome last night, twice. Remember the ADD-thing? Turns out I can't count stitches, after all. Anyway, it's started. I'll let you know how it goes.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Sadly, Sadly

I've been sadly neglectful of this blog for a while, and for that I apologize.
Life is full of suckage these days - thankfully, today is not as bad as it has been. I won't bore you with the details, just suffice it to say that the week of the 4th will go down in infamy in my book.
I started and finished Sock Monkey on Saturday. It's last year's Christmas present for my nephew - Knitty saved my ass! He wanted a knitted monkey to use for his web site, then he decided he wanted a beret - so, VOILA!! One gift down, 1 1/2 to go. I also finished 1 of sis's socks - am working on the other one. Should I tell her that I got the first one done in a week? Nah!!! :D
I adapted the gauntlet pattern in "Not Just Socks" to make what I call a "Glove-let" - similar to what the Hollywood set is wearing - basically it's just the thumb and a bit to cover the hand. If you use a pattern and completely change it to fit your needs, is that an adaptation??? Hmmmmmm. . . . . . .
So, I have to finish the second sock, knit a hat for other neph - thinking about this one - finish baby blanket for neph's new son, and THEN I'm going to make this with some lovely purple yarn that I've searching for a project for. I hav 4 balls of it - not sure if that's enough, but I can get more, if need be. I don't think it has a dye lot (my favorite kind of yarn, I can buy bits and pieces a little at a time). It's something from Mexico that Hobby Lobby puts on sale every once in a while. It has nothing about the yarn on the band around it, except the content (acrylic & something) and the washing symbols. No dye lot, no sizing, nothing. So, I decided that it's lace weight, and I'm going to make that shawl. Wish me luck with that.

One of the really horrible things that happened this last week was that a friend of my daughter's was killed. 18 years old, and made a stupid, stupid judgement call, and died. As you can imagine, everyone is devastated. It's the first time Arlana has had to deal with the death of a friend (not her first time dealing with death, she was with me when her Poppy (my Dad) died). It's also the first time she's had to deal with the fact that things can change so quickly, and teens sometimes make bad choices. We don't know if he was high (we suspect so) or if he was just being foolish, and she switches between being sad and being angry.
Me? I go between aching for my daughter and wanting to wrap her in a blanket and lock her in her room. Once again I'm reminded how little control we have over our lives, and those of our children. We never know when we kiss them good bye in the morning if some idiot is going to make the decision to drink and drive, or if some gang-banger with a grudge is going to choose to take his anger out on the people at the mall, or if the brakes on the activity bus are going to fail as it's bringing our kids home from a day of skiing.
What Arlana doesn't know is that from the day she was born, I was determined that I would never end a phone conversation, or leave her without her knowing that I love her. Every time we speak on the phone, and every time one of us leaves, we say I love you. I've never failed to say that to her, and I hope I've never failed to make sure that she knows those aren't just words, but the sounds of my heart.
My heart breaks for her friend's family - I can't imagine the pain they must be enduring. I want to find them and hold them and tell them that their son left too soon, but that he did so much good while he was here. I never met him, but the outpouring and the remembrances I'm hearing from his friends touches me deeply. And, I can't help but remember the friends I've had to say goodbye to too soon. Those who didn't make out of High School, and those who did, but not much beyond. As Arlana likes to remind me, I'm old now, and I lose more every day - but that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. I'd hoped she wouldn't have to learn this particular lesson this soon, but I guess not.