Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Sadly, Sadly

I've been sadly neglectful of this blog for a while, and for that I apologize.
Life is full of suckage these days - thankfully, today is not as bad as it has been. I won't bore you with the details, just suffice it to say that the week of the 4th will go down in infamy in my book.
I started and finished Sock Monkey on Saturday. It's last year's Christmas present for my nephew - Knitty saved my ass! He wanted a knitted monkey to use for his web site, then he decided he wanted a beret - so, VOILA!! One gift down, 1 1/2 to go. I also finished 1 of sis's socks - am working on the other one. Should I tell her that I got the first one done in a week? Nah!!! :D
I adapted the gauntlet pattern in "Not Just Socks" to make what I call a "Glove-let" - similar to what the Hollywood set is wearing - basically it's just the thumb and a bit to cover the hand. If you use a pattern and completely change it to fit your needs, is that an adaptation??? Hmmmmmm. . . . . . .
So, I have to finish the second sock, knit a hat for other neph - thinking about this one - finish baby blanket for neph's new son, and THEN I'm going to make this with some lovely purple yarn that I've searching for a project for. I hav 4 balls of it - not sure if that's enough, but I can get more, if need be. I don't think it has a dye lot (my favorite kind of yarn, I can buy bits and pieces a little at a time). It's something from Mexico that Hobby Lobby puts on sale every once in a while. It has nothing about the yarn on the band around it, except the content (acrylic & something) and the washing symbols. No dye lot, no sizing, nothing. So, I decided that it's lace weight, and I'm going to make that shawl. Wish me luck with that.

One of the really horrible things that happened this last week was that a friend of my daughter's was killed. 18 years old, and made a stupid, stupid judgement call, and died. As you can imagine, everyone is devastated. It's the first time Arlana has had to deal with the death of a friend (not her first time dealing with death, she was with me when her Poppy (my Dad) died). It's also the first time she's had to deal with the fact that things can change so quickly, and teens sometimes make bad choices. We don't know if he was high (we suspect so) or if he was just being foolish, and she switches between being sad and being angry.
Me? I go between aching for my daughter and wanting to wrap her in a blanket and lock her in her room. Once again I'm reminded how little control we have over our lives, and those of our children. We never know when we kiss them good bye in the morning if some idiot is going to make the decision to drink and drive, or if some gang-banger with a grudge is going to choose to take his anger out on the people at the mall, or if the brakes on the activity bus are going to fail as it's bringing our kids home from a day of skiing.
What Arlana doesn't know is that from the day she was born, I was determined that I would never end a phone conversation, or leave her without her knowing that I love her. Every time we speak on the phone, and every time one of us leaves, we say I love you. I've never failed to say that to her, and I hope I've never failed to make sure that she knows those aren't just words, but the sounds of my heart.
My heart breaks for her friend's family - I can't imagine the pain they must be enduring. I want to find them and hold them and tell them that their son left too soon, but that he did so much good while he was here. I never met him, but the outpouring and the remembrances I'm hearing from his friends touches me deeply. And, I can't help but remember the friends I've had to say goodbye to too soon. Those who didn't make out of High School, and those who did, but not much beyond. As Arlana likes to remind me, I'm old now, and I lose more every day - but that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. I'd hoped she wouldn't have to learn this particular lesson this soon, but I guess not.

1 comment:

Sheepish Annie said...

What a tragedy. Best to your daughter. You are supporting her beautifully. Thanks for the comment on my blog. It's always nice to hear from fellow "voice-hearing, kitty-owning" bloggers!